COME TO BEVLAND    

When Bev stared wide-eyed at Ron Dixon inviting him to "Come to Bevland", impotency prevailed. Hardly surprising when 'Bevland' conjures up the image of a sterile out-of-town mega-shopping complex which the masses flock to on Sundays in search of two specific items, only to return three hours later with a whole trolley full of crap.

I'd rather go to Tesco's than Disneyland
Shop 'til you drop, "take your baskets by the hand"
The muzak's better than shit, weedy Brit-pop bands

When I get to heaven will it be full of shops?
Open 24 hours, time to wind up
Store detectives, sad bastard wannabe cops

Do you want that crap
Do you, do you, do you, do you want that crap
Do you, do you, do you, do you want that crap
Do you really want that crap

Come to Bevland - We can give you everything
Come to Bevland - We can sell you anything
Come to Bevland - Don't want anything from you

What you don't need will come through the door
Like betterware catalogues, leaflets galore
Kirby demonstrations sucking up the soul from the floor

Park and joyride, drive-in, smash grab
Excuse me sonny, can I look inside your bag
Put those points on your clubcard, get yourself tagged

Do you want that crap
Do you, do you, do you, do you want that crap
Do you, do you, do you, do you want that crap
Do you really want that crap

Come to Bevland - We can give you everything
Come to Bevland - We can sell you anything
Come to Bevland - Don't want anything from you

Come to Bevland - We can give you everything
Come to Bevland - We can sell you anything
Come to Bevland - Don't want anything from you

Songs...

47002
A Friend in Need is a Pest
Air-Con One
@ Fuck
Another Boring Eastfield Song
Anti
Aspartame
Beast of Bratislava
Big Brother
Broad Street Trash
Burt Reynolds Rides Again
Bury Vic Berry
Cancer of the Universe
Chiddingfold General
CI5 Revisited
Cigarettes and Tourettes
Clank!
Come to Bevland
David Icke
Drive on Henry
Don't Phone Back
Eate Yourself Dead
Eddie Watson
Elvis is Dead and Jazz is Shit
Everything is Marvellous
Fare Dodging
Fish
Fortuna Hell
Get a Grip
God's Plastic Railway
Grant the Lumberjack (old)
Grant the Lumberjack (new)
Grica Hate
Hearing Nothing About a Revolution
How to Rip Off Your Band Mates
Hucknal! Get Out of my Car!
Humour Exclusion Zone
It's Gotta be a Record Breaker
Jeremy's Dream
John's Not Mad
Johnson
Jostick Head
Jumping Someone Else's Train
Just Like the Sixties
Keep on Tracking the Train
La Jonquera
Mannion
Mask
Mick Murphy's Dirty Bar
Milton of Leys
Money Money Money Money
Mr. Willis
Off the Rails
Pedigree Scum
Peace and Love Muthafucka
Pepper
Plastic Buddha (Kwai)
Port Talbot Transport Police
Radio West
Rod, Hull and Emo
Sharks Against Surfers
Sky Burial at Warton Crag
Slam!
Spirals
Summer Hill Blues
S.W.A.Y.Z.E.
The Black Hole (Fekete Ut)
The Cult of Ted Moult
The Gasman
The Second Fastest Cycle Courier in London
Three Chords Good, Four Chords Bad
Three Seats
Tingalpa
Todd Landers
Tudor House Painter
Weston Super Scare
Why do people sing about riots?


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