I'd rather go to Tesco's than Disneyland
Shop 'til you drop, "take your baskets by the hand"
The muzak's better than shit, weedy Brit-pop bands

When I get to heaven will it be full of shops?
Open 24 hours, time to wind up
Store detectives, sad bastard wannabe cops

Do you want that crap
Do you, do you, do you, do you want that crap
Do you, do you, do you, do you want that crap
Do you really want that crap

Come to Bevland - We can give you everything
Come to Bevland - We can sell you anything
Come to Bevland - Don't want anything from you

What you don't need will come through the door
Like betterware catalogues, leaflets galore
Kirby demonstrations sucking up the soul from the floor

Park and joyride, drive-in, smash grab
Excuse me sonny, can I look inside your bag
Put those points on your clubcard, get yourself tagged

Do you want that crap
Do you, do you, do you, do you want that crap
Do you, do you, do you, do you want that crap
Do you really want that crap

Come to Bevland - We can give you everything
Come to Bevland - We can sell you anything
Come to Bevland - Don't want anything from you

Come to Bevland - We can give you everything
Come to Bevland - We can sell you anything
Come to Bevland - Don't want anything from you