JOHN'S NOT MAD    

Inspired by the TV documentary of the same name. Given a track record of nauseating adverts and bombarding the third world with powdered baby milk, shouting “Fucking Nescafe” in a supermarket is an astute observation and not merely a symptom of Tourette’s syndrome.

Advert soap washes whiter
TV tastes so much nicer with coffee mate
On a first date upstairs to heartache
Polly put the kettle on and tell me where you’ve been
Sucked into the rattling palms of David Niven’s coffee beans

John’s not mad, his shelves are fully stacked
And the sight of Gold Blend makes his stomach churn
John’s not mad spitting Supermarket Sweep
And the sight of Nesquik makes him feel sick

The red truck inches forward
You’re simply the best, much better than all the rest
Steamy windows no substitute innuendos
For after dinner coffee I think I’ll get my coat
And you can go hitch a ride in Chris Eubank’s juggernaut

John’s not mad, his shelves are fully stacked
And the sight of Gold Blend makes his stomach churn
John’s not mad spitting Supermarket Sweep
And the sight of Nesquik makes him feel sick

Feel the taste, smell the aroma
Malignant melanoma, Gareth Hunt, New Avenger
New range of coffee blender
Scraping the bottom of the barrel and scrabbling round the bins
For an out of date celebrity prostituting coffee beans

John’s not mad, his shelves are fully stacked
And the sight of Gold Blend makes his stomach churn
John’s not mad spitting Supermarket Sweep
And the sight of Nesquik makes him feel sick

Songs...

47002
A Friend in Need is a Pest
Air-Con One
@ Fuck
Another Boring Eastfield Song
Anti
Aspartame
Beast of Bratislava
Big Brother
Broad Street Trash
Burt Reynolds Rides Again
Bury Vic Berry
Cancer of the Universe
Chiddingfold General
CI5 Revisited
Cigarettes and Tourettes
Clank!
Come to Bevland
David Icke
Drive on Henry
Don't Phone Back
Eate Yourself Dead
Eddie Watson
Elvis is Dead and Jazz is Shit
Everything is Marvellous
Fare Dodging
Fish
Fortuna Hell
Get a Grip
God's Plastic Railway
Grant the Lumberjack (old)
Grant the Lumberjack (new)
Grica Hate
Hearing Nothing About a Revolution
How to Rip Off Your Band Mates
Hucknal! Get Out of my Car!
Humour Exclusion Zone
It's Gotta be a Record Breaker
Jeremy's Dream
John's Not Mad
Johnson
Jostick Head
Jumping Someone Else's Train
Just Like the Sixties
Keep on Tracking the Train
La Jonquera
Mannion
Mask
Mick Murphy's Dirty Bar
Milton of Leys
Money Money Money Money
Mr. Willis
Off the Rails
Pedigree Scum
Peace and Love Muthafucka
Pepper
Plastic Buddha (Kwai)
Port Talbot Transport Police
Radio West
Rod, Hull and Emo
Sharks Against Surfers
Sky Burial at Warton Crag
Slam!
Spirals
Summer Hill Blues
S.W.A.Y.Z.E.
The Black Hole (Fekete Ut)
The Cult of Ted Moult
The Gasman
The Second Fastest Cycle Courier in London
Three Chords Good, Four Chords Bad
Three Seats
Tingalpa
Todd Landers
Tudor House Painter
Weston Super Scare
Why do people sing about riots?


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