ELVIS IS DEAD AND JAZZ IS SHIT    

Some anal retentive souls think that by striving to be technically proficient it gives them the right to criticise others who realise that there's more important things in life than styles of music. Surely it's better to sing from the heart than scream from the colon.

I can hear the music man - he's coming down your way
He doesn't like what we do - it's too simple to play
If you'd rather listen to the sound of a jazz band tuning
I'd rather punch your lights out with some bare-knuckle tai-chi

From the rhythm of the dance floor
Thrashing through the carriage doors
This is the sound that everybody loves
So open up and get on down
Put your feet back on the ground
This is the sound that everybody loves

This music isn't complex, won't conform to bigotry
From the music school of excellence and music snobbery
If you'd rather listen to the sound of scraping fingers down the blackboard
I'd rather punch your lights out with some bare-knuckle tai-chi

From the rhythm of the dance floor
Thrashing through the carriage doors
This is the sound that everybody loves
So open up and get on down
Put your feet back on the ground
This is the sound that everybody loves

Sitting in the bedroom dreaming of the big time
Beat up guitar singing all the right lines
Need new strings but don't need the music shops
Fed up having books propping up the bookshelves
Scratched out records face-down on the carpet
Need new tunes but don't need the record shops
'Cos three chords are good and four chords are bad...

Songs...

47002
A Friend in Need is a Pest
Air-Con One
@ Fuck
Another Boring Eastfield Song
Anti
Aspartame
Beast of Bratislava
Big Brother
Broad Street Trash
Burt Reynolds Rides Again
Bury Vic Berry
Cancer of the Universe
Chiddingfold General
CI5 Revisited
Cigarettes and Tourettes
Clank!
Come to Bevland
David Icke
Drive on Henry
Don't Phone Back
Eate Yourself Dead
Eddie Watson
Elvis is Dead and Jazz is Shit
Everything is Marvellous
Fare Dodging
Fish
Fortuna Hell
Get a Grip
God's Plastic Railway
Grant the Lumberjack (old)
Grant the Lumberjack (new)
Grica Hate
Hearing Nothing About a Revolution
How to Rip Off Your Band Mates
Hucknal! Get Out of my Car!
Humour Exclusion Zone
It's Gotta be a Record Breaker
Jeremy's Dream
John's Not Mad
Johnson
Jostick Head
Jumping Someone Else's Train
Just Like the Sixties
Keep on Tracking the Train
La Jonquera
Mannion
Mask
Mick Murphy's Dirty Bar
Milton of Leys
Money Money Money Money
Mr. Willis
Off the Rails
Pedigree Scum
Peace and Love Muthafucka
Pepper
Plastic Buddha (Kwai)
Port Talbot Transport Police
Radio West
Rod, Hull and Emo
Sharks Against Surfers
Sky Burial at Warton Crag
Slam!
Spirals
Summer Hill Blues
S.W.A.Y.Z.E.
The Black Hole (Fekete Ut)
The Cult of Ted Moult
The Gasman
The Second Fastest Cycle Courier in London
Three Chords Good, Four Chords Bad
Three Seats
Tingalpa
Todd Landers
Tudor House Painter
Weston Super Scare
Why do people sing about riots?


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