Grant scrubs his car - stands back on the kerb
Get fresh for the weekend
The soap suds in the gutter - cause to itch, cough and splutter
They've washed away his friends
Now resigned to spending hours alone
On his paving slab patio
His only comfort is his sun-soaked deckchair
And beat up radio

Get fresh for the weekend, climb up hacking down trees
Get fresh for the weekend, climb up hacking down trees

He hates his neighbours and their overgrown trees
Blocking out the sun
He's gonna teach them a lesson with a midnight mission
And chop down every one
As quiet as he can like the milk tray man
Creeping in the moonlight
In his teeth he holds an axe, he scales the wall and hacks
Things go 'bump' in the middle of the night

How can you love your neighbour when he looks like Grant Mitchell?
How can you love your neighbour when he acts like Grant Mitchell?
How can you love your neighbour when he sounds like Grant Mitchell?
How can you love your neighbour when he smells like Grant Mitchell?